BELLINGHAM, WA – A local man has ruined Karaoke night at a popular bar by singing a “total bummer of a song.”

MENLO PARK, CA – Meta has announced a change in the company’s virtual reality strategy which will shift focus to producing a virtual reality for and containing only old, white people.

HOUSTON, TX- Men’s Warehouse has announced a new line of “executive basketball shorts” the company hopes will appeal to remote workers.

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – The people of Salt Lake City are eager to welcome the National League Hockey, the whitest of all sports leagues, to the whitest city in America.

LOS ANGELES, CA – The popular dating app Tinder is planning on expanding to a new market by allowing users to list their blood type and organ health within the app.

FLAGSTAFF, AZ– Northern Arizona University (NAU) has announced a new degree program which it hopes will attract new students – Meth Sommelier.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Many leading climate scientists have decided they will stop warning of pending climate catastrophes and will instead suggest everyone “get to work on their bucket list.”

LOS ANGELES, CA – As people across the country start planning their summer vacations, The Scoop News has reached out to travel industry experts for a list of this year’s top summer vacation destinations.

CHARLOTTE, NC – A company team building event that was intended to focus on staff unity and communication, quickly turned to be all about Accounts Receivable Accountant Sheryl Lekhonen.

SPOKANE, WA – Gonzaga University freshman Arden Bleamoe told friends that he has “sick” spring break plans and he is definitely not going home to his parent’s house.