Local Reporter Sitting Around Waiting for Next Tik Tok Trend to Appear
Published October 2023PHOENIX, AZ – Local reporter Denise Holman is waiting for the next Tik Tok trend to present itself so she can report on it.
Florida Changing State Motto to "White Place, White Time"
Published February 2023TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced a change to Florida’s state motto. As of March 1, 2023, the new Florida state motto will be “White Place, White Time.”
Santa Claus Switches Sleigh from Reindeer Power to Electric Power
Published December 2022NORTH POLE – To help offset his carbon footprint, Santa Claus has announced that he has converted his sleigh from reindeer power to electric power.
Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone
Published May 2022NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.
Lifting Mask Mandates Makes It Difficult to Identify Jerks
Published March 2022DENVER, CO – As mask mandates across the country are lifted, many Americans are finding it more difficult to identify jerks.
Olympic Events Changed to Help COVID Affected Athletes
Published August 2021TOKYO, JAPAN – The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has forced the International Olympic Committee to make several changes to events of this year’s Summer Olympic Games to accommodate athletes COVID-19 related symptoms.
Qanon Revealed to be Mountain Dew Marketing Campaign
Published October 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking Post-Election revelation, the source of the mysterious Qanon conspiracy theory has been revealed to be the marketing team for the soft drink Mountain Dew.
Experts Offer Tips to Keep School Kids Covid-19 Free
Published September 2020ATLANTA, GA – As children across the country return to school concerns of exposure to and spread of COVID-19 have parents worried about their family’s safety.
Biden Learning Macarena to Appeal to Latino Youth Voters
Published August 2020WILMINGTON, DE – Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden has been taking dance lessons to learn the Macarena in an effort to appeal to America’s Latino youth.
Local Woman Redecorates Room Before Video Call
Published April 2020LAKEWOOD, CO – Local woman, Jenny McDavid, has spent the last four hours rearranging her office to ensure attendees on a video conference think McDavid has her shit together.