Food companies will have until the end of the year to list the number of child souls used in making the item.

FDA to Require Companies to Declare if Food Contains Souls of Children

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a new rule that requires companies to add a statement on product packaging declaring if the souls of children were used in a product.


Beginning next season, every visible surface will be covered in ads.

NHL to Cover Every Available Surface in Advertisements

TORONTO, CANADA – The NHL announced that starting next year advertising will be added to every available spot on the ice, boards, and uniforms.


Researchers studying men's need to post thoughts online think they have found a clue to the origin of the behavior.

Researchers Identify Hormone Causing Men to Post Idiotic Thoughts Online

GAINESVILLE, FL – Researchers at the University of Florida say they have made a breakthrough in the search to understand why white men are compelled to post their thoughts online after they turn 18.


Remembering Those We Lost in 2023

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – As the new year dawns, it’s time to look back on those we lost in 2023. The Scoop News has decided to honor some of The Scoop News Staff that passed away last year in brief memoriam.


One fun and easy holiday costume is to dress up as a naughty snowman.

Expert Offers Seven Winter Holiday Costume Ideas

LOS ANGELES, CA – To assist those still in need of a costume, The Scoop News has surveyed a leading holiday expert and gathered a list of fresh and fun costume ideas.


Dean Jeffries is planning on spending the entire office holiday party talking about the war between Israel and Hamas.

Coworker Ready To Talk About Israel-Hamas War at Office Holiday Party

LINCOLN, NE – Local man, Dean Jeffries, is looking forward to sharing his thoughts and views on the Israel-Hamas war with his coworkers at the upcoming office holiday party.


Santa Co. has announced that it will be laying off elves and reindeer as it looks to reduce it's workforce by 30%.

Santa Co. Announces Elf, Reindeer Layoffs

NORTH POLE – Santa Co. has announced that it will be laying off 30% of its workforce to reduce costs in the wake of rising labor and material costs.


Taco Bell Adds New Menu Item El Wado

IRVINE, CA – Taco Bell will be rolling out a new menu item this month consisting of a handful of meat, cheese, and lettuce rolled into a ball. Taco Bell “chefs” are calling the new creation El Wado.


Local Mother Mentally Preparing Herself for Mother's Day Disappointment

SPOKANE, WA – A local mother has begun preparing herself for the inevitable disappointment of Mother’s Day.


Marjorie Taylor Green, who is stupid, revealed her "reservations" for the new year.

Marjorie Taylor Greene Reveals New Year Reservations

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene revealed her 2023 “reservations” during a Fox News interview.


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