RICHMOND, KY – Local man Jason Newtbury is upset that he does not find the lead actress of a popular show “hot” and is vowing to boycott the show until the actress is replaced with someone Newtbury finds attractive.

BELLINGHAM, WA – A local man has ruined Karaoke night at a popular bar by singing a “total bummer of a song.”

MENLO PARK, CA – Meta has announced a change in the company’s virtual reality strategy which will shift focus to producing a virtual reality for and containing only old, white people.

DES MOINES, IA – Just in time for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, several new vegan turkey options have become available in grocery stores.

LOS ANGELES, CA – The popular dating app Tinder is planning on expanding to a new market by allowing users to list their blood type and organ health within the app.

FLAGSTAFF, AZ– Northern Arizona University (NAU) has announced a new degree program which it hopes will attract new students – Meth Sommelier.

DETROIT, MI – Automobile manufacturer Dodge has announced an update to its popular Caravan minivan. Beginning this fall, all new Caravan minivans will come with a French Fry underneath each seat.

PARIS, FRANCE – A new sport will be added to this year’s Summer Olympic games – Keep the Balloon Off the Floor, also known as “Balloon Bop.”

KHARTOUM, SUDAN–The people of Sudan say they are looking forward to the pending influx of free Stanley cups as the popularity of the large travel cups has begun to subside in the United States of America.

WASHINGTON, D.C. –Republicans running for seats in the Senate and House of Representatives have turned to a new website to help in fundraising efforts – GOPnlyFans.