Local man James Beal hoped the new Zelda video game would complete his life, but it did not.

New Video Game Fails to Make Local Man's Life Complete

SALEM, OR – After almost five years of waiting, local man James Beal, 29, has announced that the new video game, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK), has not made his life complete.


AI Programs Say AI is Safe and There is Nothing to Worry About

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Several of the most popular artificial intelligence (AI) content generators have begun creating articles and stories about how artificial intelligence is nothing to worry about and is, in fact, humankind’s best friend.


Google will begin using mothers to inform its AI interface instead of using internet.

Google To Use Mothers to Teach New AI Interface

SEATTLE, WA – Google has announced a shift in strategy for the company’s Artificial Intelligence (AI) interface, relying on mothers instead of the internet to help inform AI decision making.


Twitter to Ban Hate Speech Aimed at Rich People

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of increasing hate speech on the platform, Twitter has announced it will begin blocking hate speech directed at rich people.


Santa Claus has converted his sleigh from reindeer power to electric power.

Santa Claus Switches Sleigh from Reindeer Power to Electric Power

NORTH POLE – To help offset his carbon footprint, Santa Claus has announced that he has converted his sleigh from reindeer power to electric power.


Due to inflation, OnlyFans subscribers are getting less then they expect from their subscriptions.

Inflation impacting OnlyFans Subscriptions

LOS ANGELES, CA – OnlyFans subscribers are feeling the impact of inflation as the amount of content they receive for their subscriptions has decreased.


New Swiffer Lets People Clean Using Their Pets

CINCINNATI, OH – Procter & Gamble has released a new version of the Swiffer Sweeper that attaches to small animals and will allow customers to use their pets to clean floors.


Facebook U will offer Facebook users the chance to obtain degrees in "research," "whataboutism," and "Foreign Policy."

Facebook Launches Degree Program to Validate Facebook Users’ Posts, Comments

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Beginning next month, Facebook will begin offering degree and postgraduate degree programs to Facebook users.


Jacob Gregory has successfully mentioned that he owns a Tesla in every conversation he's had since purchasing a Tesla.

Tesla Owner Successfully Mentions He Owns a Tesla in Every Conversation

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Local Tesla owner, Jacob Gregory, has successfully worked the fact that he owns a Tesla into every conversation he’s had since purchasing the vehicle in late 2020.


Social Media Companies to Allow Users to Opt-Out of Becoming Racist

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of social and political pressure, social media companies will soon begin offering an option that will allow users to decline becoming racist.


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