Researchers studying men's need to post thoughts online think they have found a clue to the origin of the behavior.

Researchers Identify Hormone Causing Men to Post Idiotic Thoughts Online

GAINESVILLE, FL – Researchers at the University of Florida say they have made a breakthrough in the search to understand why white men are compelled to post their thoughts online after they turn 18.


The Detroit Lions have acquired singer and rapper Nicki Minaj as part of a trade with New York.

Loins Trade Receiver Reynolds for Nicki Minaj

DETROIT, MI – After failing to make the first Super Bowl appearance in the team’s history, the Detroit Loins have announced a blockbuster trade – sending wide receiver Josh Reynolds to New York for rapper and singer Nicki Minaj.


According to women, most single men remain single because they are dipshits.

Study: Most Chronically Single Men are Total Dipshits

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new study from a team of researchers at Stanford University has found that a large majority of single men remain single because they are “dipshits.”


Twitter to Ban Hate Speech Aimed at Rich People

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of increasing hate speech on the platform, Twitter has announced it will begin blocking hate speech directed at rich people.


The Congress.gov website still has several politicians that are available to be purchased.

Lotto Winner Planning to Buy Politician

TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.


A new poll conducted by Stanford University has found that 84% of Americans "just can't anymore."

New Poll Finds Majority of Americans Just Can't Anymore

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to a recent poll, the number of Americans that just can’t anymore is at an all-time high.


In a new survey, a majority of children said they wanted to be an NFT when they grow up.

New Survey: Most Kids Want to Be an NFT When They Grow Up

CHICAGO, IL – In a new survey of children ages five to 15, a majority of children said they wanted to be an NFT when they grow up.


Adult Stores Struggle with Inventories as Social Distancing Eases

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Adult stores across the country are dealing with inventory issues as Americans become vaccinated against COVID-19 and the need for social distancing is rapidly decreasing.


U.S. Sets New Record of COVID Deniers Contracting COVID

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States of America set a new COVID record as the number of people who claimed the pandemic was a hoax only to then get infected by COVID rose to over two million.


Social Media Companies to Allow Users to Opt-Out of Becoming Racist

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of social and political pressure, social media companies will soon begin offering an option that will allow users to decline becoming racist.


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