The map of men orbiting around an attractive woman at a gym.

Researchers Map Orbit of Men Around Attractive Women at Gyms

DENVER, CO – Scientists at the University of Denver have mapped, for the first time, the orbit of men around an attractive woman at a gym.


Fox News television personality Tucker Carlson told his viewers to drink bull semen to increase their testosterone.

Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone

NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.


A new law in Texas will make it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable.

Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man Uncomfortable

AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.


According to data published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, both depression and suicide has been rising among males since 2000.

NFL Launches “Don’t Be a Pussy” Men’s Mental Health Campaign

NEW YORK, NY – The National Football League has launched a new campaign called “Don’t Be a Pussy” aimed at promoting good mental health among men.


Facebook U will offer Facebook users the chance to obtain degrees in "research," "whataboutism," and "Foreign Policy."

Facebook Launches Degree Program to Validate Facebook Users’ Posts, Comments

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Beginning next month, Facebook will begin offering degree and postgraduate degree programs to Facebook users.


In a new survey, a majority of children said they wanted to be an NFT when they grow up.

New Survey: Most Kids Want to Be an NFT When They Grow Up

CHICAGO, IL – In a new survey of children ages five to 15, a majority of children said they wanted to be an NFT when they grow up.


Archaeologists Discover First-Known Dick Pic

SANTIAGO, CHILE – Archaeologists working outside of Santiago have discovered what they believe is the first known instance of a “dick pic.”


White House Staff Reveal New Year's Resolutions

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Like many other Americans, President Trump and his staff have made New Year’s resolutions.


According to a recent report by the EPA, renewable energy such as wind and solar power cause over 100,000 illnesses.

EPA: Renewable Energy Causes 104,412 Illnesses

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Environmental Protection Agency has released a new study that concludes renewable energy, specifically solar and wind generated power, can cause up to 104,412 illnesses.
“(The EPA) just published a ground breaking report that clearly shows that the renewable energy that the Democrats have been pushing on us for so long is actually the cause of almost every illness that’s out there,” said EPA spokesman Frank Servees.

Polls: Your Mom Now Leading Clinton, Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With only a few weeks until the Presidential election, the write-in candidate Your Mom has taken the lead in a series of recent polls.

“People are rejecting the two major party candidates at a rate we’ve never seen and because of that people are looking for other choices,” said former Democratic Party Chairman, Howard Dean. “Someone, who knows who, said that they’d just write ‘Your Mom’ on their ballot and people are really starting to agree with that.”


Back to Top