Arden Bleamoe says he has a "sick" spring break vacation planned and definitely won't be going home to his parent's house and masturbating the entire time.

College Student Has "Sick" Spring Break Plans and Definitely Won't Be Going to his Parent's House

SPOKANE, WA – Gonzaga University freshman Arden Bleamoe told friends that he has “sick” spring break plans and he is definitely not going home to his parent’s house.


Kentucky Senate passed a law that will make it illegal for a trans woman to give a man an erection.

Kentucky Passes Law to Stop Trans Women from Giving Men Erections

FRANKFORT, KY – The Kentucky Senate has passed a new bill making it illegal for trans women to give men erections.


Beginning next season, every visible surface will be covered in ads.

NHL to Cover Every Available Surface in Advertisements

TORONTO, CANADA – The NHL announced that starting next year advertising will be added to every available spot on the ice, boards, and uniforms.


A van is parked outside a mill where teens were arrested for harassment.

Mystery Inc. Teens Arrested for Harassment of Mill Owner

WORCESTER, MA – A group of teenagers has been arrested for the assault and harassment of a local mill owner. The teenagers, who refer to themselves as Mystery, Inc., were also charged with trespassing and possession of controlled substances.


Plants can help brighten up a basement bedroom.

Decorators Offer Tips for Decorating Your New Bedroom in Your Parent’s Basement

LOS ANGELES, CA – As thousands of students graduate college and move back in with their parents, redecorating tips for basement living spaces has become a popular social media trend.


A group gathered at a local bar was surprised to learn that MTV is still on the air.

Group Shocked to Learn MTV Still on The Air

NEW YORK, NY – A mixed group of Millennials and Gen-Xers were shocked this week to learn that MTV is still on the air and broadcasting new content.


The United States and the European Union have blocked access to all Russian made pornography in response to Russia's invasion of Ukraine.

Sanctions Imposed on Russian Porn After Russian Invasion of Ukraine

NEW YORK, NY – The United States of America and the European Union announced drastic new sanctions against Russia as a result of the war in Ukraine. The sanctions will block the import of any pornography from Russia.


Beginning this month, ESPN will offer a new simulcast cast during NFL games featuring a drunk, racist uncle.

ESPN Launches New DRUncle Cast for NFL Games

NEW YORK, NY – Following the success of the “Manning Cast” for NFL games, ESPN will be launching a new live commentary option for professional sporting events featuring drunk, racist uncles.


Some generic actors star in one of the new Hallmark Channel holiday films.

Hallmark Channel Releases Seven New Holiday Movies

LOS ANGELES, CA – The Hallmark Channel has released its upcoming holiday movie schedule which includes several new holiday movies.


Pfizer has developed a new Valentine's Day double-sided syringe for the COVID-19 vaccine.

Pfizer Releases Double-sided Valentine's Day COVID Vaccine

NEW YORK, NY – In advance of Valentine’s Day, Pfizer has released a new double-sided COVID-19 vaccination needle that will allow a couple to vaccinate each other at the same time.


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