COLORADO SPRINGS, CO – Local conspiracy theorist says he is patiently waiting to be correct about the COVID vaccine killing millions.

BROOKHAVEN, GA – A local old, white man is feeling nostalgic for a time when he only had to hate one thing instead of almost everything.

LOS ANGELES, CA – As people across the country start planning their summer vacations, The Scoop News has reached out to travel industry experts for a list of this year’s top summer vacation destinations.

KHARTOUM, SUDAN–The people of Sudan say they are looking forward to the pending influx of free Stanley cups as the popularity of the large travel cups has begun to subside in the United States of America.

SEATTLE, WA – A local Tesla owner, Mike Velenski, spent a large portion of recent holiday parties explaining to family and coworkers that he purchased the vehicle before finding out Elon Musk is a complete dipshit.

LOS ANGELES, CA – To assist those still in need of a costume, The Scoop News has surveyed a leading holiday expert and gathered a list of fresh and fun costume ideas.

NORTH POLE – Santa Co. has announced that it will be laying off 30% of its workforce to reduce costs in the wake of rising labor and material costs.

WASHINGTON D.C., – Although severe cases and hospitalizations have decreased in recent months, scientists are the Center for Disease Control (CDC) say that COVID is still a valid excuse to not see relatives at Thanksgiving.

MISSOULA, MT – Thanks to a recent article on the click bait website BuzzFeed, Jason Strooper has realized that he may not have any more joy left in his life.

SPOKANE, WA – A local mother has begun preparing herself for the inevitable disappointment of Mother’s Day.