Reporter Denise Holman lazily scrolls through Tik Tok as she waits for a new trend to appear.

Local Reporter Sitting Around Waiting for Next Tik Tok Trend to Appear

PHOENIX, AZ – Local reporter Denise Holman is waiting for the next Tik Tok trend to present itself so she can report on it.


The CDC will soon issue new COVID guidance documents that can be used as an excuse to not see family this holiday season.

CDC Reminds Americans COVID Still a Valid Excuse to Not Visit Family

WASHINGTON D.C., – Although severe cases and hospitalizations have decreased in recent months, scientists are the Center for Disease Control (CDC) say that COVID is still a valid excuse to not see relatives at Thanksgiving.


A van is parked outside a mill where teens were arrested for harassment.

Mystery Inc. Teens Arrested for Harassment of Mill Owner

WORCESTER, MA – A group of teenagers has been arrested for the assault and harassment of a local mill owner. The teenagers, who refer to themselves as Mystery, Inc., were also charged with trespassing and possession of controlled substances.


Companies are using incentives such as on-site clowns to lure employees back in to the office.

Companies Offering New Incentives to Lure Employees Back to The Office

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – To incentivize reluctant employees to return to the office, companies are offering new in-office only perks like on-site clowns, monthly balloon parties, new glory holes, and free shrimp cocktail.


China Has Definitely Not Censored This Article About Taiwan

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Chinese government is definitely not censoring or influencing this article which is about Taiwan.


U.S. Sets New Record of COVID Deniers Contracting COVID

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States of America set a new COVID record as the number of people who claimed the pandemic was a hoax only to then get infected by COVID rose to over two million.


Texas has passed a new law requiring all Texas residents to generate their own power.

Texas to Begin Requiring Residents to Generate Their Own Power

DALLAS, TX – After recent winter storms almost completely destroyed Texas’ power grid, the Texas state government has passed a law requiring all residents to generate their own power.


A The Rock from the future appeared in Times Square to warn the people of earth about the horrors of the year 2020.

Future Version of The Rock Appears to Warn World of 2020

NEW YORK, NY – A time-traveling The Rock, whose real name is Dwayne Johnson, appeared in Times Square earlier this week to warn the world about the year 2020.


President Trump has been hiding from his staff and White House security since losing the Presidential election last month.

Trump Hiding from Staff in White House

WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the Presidential election, by a considerable margin, Donald Trump has begun hiding from staff in the White House in a desperate attempt to remain President.


President Trump has locked himself in a White House bunker after screaming that he has seen a ghost.

Trump Refuses to Come Out of Bunker After Seeing Ghost

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to multiple sources within the White House, President Trump has been hiding in a bunker since Halloween after he reported seeing “a ghost.”


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