God Planning to "Wrap It Up" By End of 2024

HEAVEN – During his annual New Year’s Day address to Earth, God said he is planning to “wrap it up” in 2024.


One fun and easy holiday costume is to dress up as a naughty snowman.

Expert Offers Seven Winter Holiday Costume Ideas

LOS ANGELES, CA – To assist those still in need of a costume, The Scoop News has surveyed a leading holiday expert and gathered a list of fresh and fun costume ideas.


Santa Co. has announced that it will be laying off elves and reindeer as it looks to reduce it's workforce by 30%.

Santa Co. Announces Elf, Reindeer Layoffs

NORTH POLE – Santa Co. has announced that it will be laying off 30% of its workforce to reduce costs in the wake of rising labor and material costs.


Zelenskyy Asks Taylor Swift for Help in War Against Russia

KYIV, UKRAINE – Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has formally requested military assistance from the world’s largest army – Taylor Swift’s Swifty Army.


Colombia is opening a new ski resort that will allow tourists to both ski on and consume cocaine.

Colombia Opens Ski Resort Using Cocaine Instead of Snow

BOGOTA, COLOMBIA – In an effort to draw tourists to the country, Columbia will open it’s first ski resort featuring cocaine rather than snow.


Fans Upset After Toronto Maple Leafs Miss Super Bowl for 57th Time

TORONTO, CANADA – For the 57th consecutive year, the Toronto Maple Leafs will not play in the Super Bowl, frustrating a dedicated and passionate fan base.


Santa Claus has converted his sleigh from reindeer power to electric power.

Santa Claus Switches Sleigh from Reindeer Power to Electric Power

NORTH POLE – To help offset his carbon footprint, Santa Claus has announced that he has converted his sleigh from reindeer power to electric power.


God said he will no longer leave his children in charge when he takes a vacation.

God Apologizes for Leaving His Kids in Charge Last Seven Years

HEAVEN – After returning from vacation and seeing the state of Earth, God has promised to never again put his kids in charge while he is away.


The United States and the European Union have blocked access to all Russian made pornography in response to Russia's invasion of Ukraine.

Sanctions Imposed on Russian Porn After Russian Invasion of Ukraine

NEW YORK, NY – The United States of America and the European Union announced drastic new sanctions against Russia as a result of the war in Ukraine. The sanctions will block the import of any pornography from Russia.


Old Man Winter exposes himself to a woman outside of Helsinki.

Odd Weather Has Old Man Winter’s Friends and Family Concerned He May be Using Drugs

WINTERLAND – Old Man Winter’s family and friends are concerned that his recent erratic behavior may be due to cognitive decline or drug abuse.


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