Kentucky Senate passed a law that will make it illegal for a trans woman to give a man an erection.

Kentucky Passes Law to Stop Trans Women from Giving Men Erections

FRANKFORT, KY – The Kentucky Senate has passed a new bill making it illegal for trans women to give men erections.


Florida textbooks will now state that the Civil War was fought between Pepsi lovers and Coca-Cola lovers.

New Florida Law Requires Textbooks to State Civil War Was Fought Over Cola Choice

TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida lawmakers have passed a new law that requires all textbooks used by publicly funded schools to be changed to say the American Civil War was fought over the choice of cola drinks.


Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley says she is looking forward to losing the nomination to a white man.

GOP Presidential Hopeful Nikki Haley Looking Forward to Losing Nomination to Man

COLUMBIA, SC – Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley says she is looking forward to a long campaign and ultimately losing the nomination to an old, white man later this year.


Florida Changing State Motto to "White Place, White Time"

TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced a change to Florida’s state motto. As of March 1, 2023, the new Florida state motto will be “White Place, White Time.”


Classified documents were found under the bed of former Student Council President Chase Johnson.

Classified Documents Found at Home of Former Student Council President

CHICAGO, IL – Makar Elementary School officials are calling for an investigation after confidential documents were found under the bed of former Student Council President, Chase Johnson.


Marjorie Taylor Green, who is stupid, revealed her "reservations" for the new year.

Marjorie Taylor Greene Reveals New Year Reservations

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene revealed her 2023 “reservations” during a Fox News interview.


Cassie Toews said she was definitely going to vote but then didn't because stuff came up.

Local 22-Year-Old Was Definitely Going to Vote but Like… Stuff Came Up

PORTLAND, OR – A local 22-year-old woman admits she did not vote in the recent election despite having every intention of doing so.


Mike Rapide says he is going to take a break from constantly owning Libs.

Local Man to Take a Break from Owning Libs

PRESCOTT, AZ – A local Republican says he’s getting a bored “constantly owning all the libs” and is considering taking some time off to focus on himself.


The Congress.gov website still has several politicians that are available to be purchased.

Lotto Winner Planning to Buy Politician

TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.


A new law in Texas will make it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable.

Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man Uncomfortable

AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.


Back to Top