Kentucky Passes Law to Stop Trans Women from Giving Men Erections
Published March 2024FRANKFORT, KY – The Kentucky Senate has passed a new bill making it illegal for trans women to give men erections.
New Florida Law Requires Textbooks to State Civil War Was Fought Over Cola Choice
Published September 2023TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida lawmakers have passed a new law that requires all textbooks used by publicly funded schools to be changed to say the American Civil War was fought over the choice of cola drinks.
GOP Presidential Hopeful Nikki Haley Looking Forward to Losing Nomination to Man
Published June 2023COLUMBIA, SC – Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley says she is looking forward to a long campaign and ultimately losing the nomination to an old, white man later this year.
Florida Changing State Motto to "White Place, White Time"
Published February 2023TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced a change to Florida’s state motto. As of March 1, 2023, the new Florida state motto will be “White Place, White Time.”
Classified Documents Found at Home of Former Student Council President
Published February 2023CHICAGO, IL – Makar Elementary School officials are calling for an investigation after confidential documents were found under the bed of former Student Council President, Chase Johnson.
Marjorie Taylor Greene Reveals New Year Reservations
Published December 2022WASHINGTON, D.C. – Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene revealed her 2023 “reservations” during a Fox News interview.
Local 22-Year-Old Was Definitely Going to Vote but Like… Stuff Came Up
Published October 2022PORTLAND, OR – A local 22-year-old woman admits she did not vote in the recent election despite having every intention of doing so.
Local Man to Take a Break from Owning Libs
Published August 2022PRESCOTT, AZ – A local Republican says he’s getting a bored “constantly owning all the libs” and is considering taking some time off to focus on himself.
Lotto Winner Planning to Buy Politician
Published August 2022TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.
Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man Uncomfortable
Published April 2022AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.