NHL to Cover Every Available Surface in Advertisements
Published January 2024TORONTO, CANADA – The NHL announced that starting next year advertising will be added to every available spot on the ice, boards, and uniforms.
Researchers Identify Hormone Causing Men to Post Idiotic Thoughts Online
Published January 2024GAINESVILLE, FL – Researchers at the University of Florida say they have made a breakthrough in the search to understand why white men are compelled to post their thoughts online after they turn 18.
Study: Most Chronically Single Men are Total Dipshits
Published September 2023SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new study from a team of researchers at Stanford University has found that a large majority of single men remain single because they are “dipshits.”
New Video Game Fails to Make Local Man's Life Complete
Published May 2023SALEM, OR – After almost five years of waiting, local man James Beal, 29, has announced that the new video game, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK), has not made his life complete.
The Scoop News' 2022 Holiday Toy Buying Guide
Published November 2022NEW YORK, NY – The season of gift giving is here and to help find the best toys for the children in your life, The Scoop News has pulled together a list of this year’s top selling, sought-after, and affordable toys.
Local Man to Take a Break from Owning Libs
Published August 2022PRESCOTT, AZ – A local Republican says he’s getting a bored “constantly owning all the libs” and is considering taking some time off to focus on himself.
God Apologizes for Leaving His Kids in Charge Last Seven Years
Published March 2022HEAVEN – After returning from vacation and seeing the state of Earth, God has promised to never again put his kids in charge while he is away.
Local Man Makes New Year's Resolution to Finally Finish Puzzle
Published January 2022HOUSTON, TX – For his New Year’s Resolution, local Man Glenn Ramirez has committed to finishing the jigsaw puzzle he started in 2019.
ESPN Launches New DRUncle Cast for NFL Games
Published January 2022NEW YORK, NY – Following the success of the “Manning Cast” for NFL games, ESPN will be launching a new live commentary option for professional sporting events featuring drunk, racist uncles.
Manchin and Sinema Propose Taxing Minecraft Players to Pay for Infrastructure Bill
Published November 2021WASHINGTON, D.C. – Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema have proposed changes to the funding of the infrastructure bill.